After my very first initial consultation with an engaged couple interested in my brandy-new DC wedding planning & coordination services, I realized that I had shared some advice with them, that might be something worth blogging about.
It was something I had decided to do early on in our own wedding planning process, that would hopefully make it easier when bringing my somewhat strong, and nontraditional wedding views and wants, to my more traditional parents, who were mostly funding our wedding day. Not an easy trail to navigate in the least!
I decided [along with some help from my father] that we should keep most of our wedding chatter, opinions, discussion, and desires in a FACE TO FACE format only.
me and my awesome parents on my wedding day
Email and text messaging, while convenient and quick, leave WAY too much to be misconstrued or misread. A simple email could turn into an argument or hurt feelings, when that was never anyone’s intention in the first place.
In case you haven’t heard – weddings are TOUGH to plan. While awesome, they are equally stressful and can oftentimes be known to bring out “the best AND the worst” in the people involved.
Weddings are highly personal – and I think that is why there is so much emotion that can sometimes turn into arguments. Everyone’s goal [the couple AND their parents] is to have a beautiful wedding day – but due to the seemingly endless amounts of decisions that need to be made to get there, it’s easy to let emotions get the best of you and that is only augmented by the lack of context in emails and texts. Using email and texting to discuss these endless decisions only increases the likelihood of an argument, hurt feeling, or misplaced emotion.
my two dads [my father-in-law and father]
So my advice?
Don’t use email or texting for your wedding decisions, opinions, or discussions.Â
Try your hardest to have these discussions face-to-face with your parents [especially if your parents are funding the majority of your day, like mine graciously did]. Face-to-face conversations decrease the chance that opinions will be taken out of context, or misconstrued.
Don’t live close enough for a face-to-face convo? Well you are in luck, because the same modern technology that gives us texting and email, also gives us things like Skype, Google Hangout, Facetime, and even *gasp* phonecalls!
It’s important to remember throughout the entire wedding planning process that while it’s YOUR day – it’s partially your parents’ day too. So, chances are they will have their own wants and desires for your wedding day and everyone should respect all opinions involved.
Ok Romancers ~ what do you think? Good advice? Or do you think email/texting is still OK for wedding decisions?
2 comments
Great advice. I totally agree and dealt with some miscommunication issues during the planning phase of my wedding due to miscontrued emails/texts. I think in face to face communication IS the way to go!
Excellent advice! I can think of few things as fraught with emotion as wedding planning. There are almost always disagreements — or at least differences of opinion — along the way, so eliminating the ones that arise from misunderstandings will make everyone’s lives easier. Besides, even if you’re already grown and away from home, getting married changes your relationship with your parents forever. It’s good to enjoy as much in-person time with your family as possible while you’re still single, because as wonderful as your new married life is going to be, you’ll never get that single time back again.